City of broken worlds
by Explodingcows234
Summary: Everthing is seemingly normal after the dark war, until Clary is sent on a Clave mission from which she doesn't return...
1. Badbegginings

The leaves fell silently around Clary as she watched Jace walk toward her, his pale blonde hair standing out like gold against the dull mist, It was times like this that made Clary long for her art pencils and something to draw on.

"You called?" he said sitting down on the icy bench beside her, brushing his lips across her cheek, his golden eyes shining like the morning star.

she had been replaying this conversation over in her head all day deciding what to say and finally coming down to "I have to tell you something..important" she knew it wasn't great but it was the best of her options, as the words left her mouth she felt him tense beside her preparing himself, waiting for her to continue.

"The Clave has offered me a mission" she said pausing so he could relax before she continued, he didn't, she finished "In LA" steeling herself for his reaction, he did nothing, she glanced at him and could tell by they way he was tightening every muscle in his face, forcing himself to appear calm, and by the way he was balling his hands into fists that he was trying hard not to snap, they sat in silence neither one of them willing to break it,

"and?" he breathed his voice rising, she chose her next words carefully for she knew they would matter

"After thinking about it, i accepted" and that was it, he lost control and she felt rather than saw him jump up, and then he was kneeling in front of her, his breath hot and fast on her face

"Clary, please think about this, you know the dangers involved and

being so far away i cant help you if something happens, if you-" his

voice broke

"just please think about what your doing."

"I have, and I'm going " he leaned in closer staring into her eyes, she looked into his and thought she caught a glimpse of fear deep down in them, but it was gone as fast as it had come, Jace Herondale was never scared she reminded herself, pushing the thought away feeling nervous.

"No Clary, not without me!"his voice was pleading and for a moment the world stilled, it was just Her and Jace staring into each others eyes both hoping for something the other was unwilling to give, she ripped her gaze away staring at the ground

"Jace please let me do this" she said quietly her eyes still looking down, hoping the ground would open up and swallow her, ending the conversation and pulling her away from the frustrated expression she knew was splayed across Jace's face.

"No, I'm not letting you do this by yourself" he said sounding annoyed like he was telling a child off for doing the same thing a million times, she felt anger bubble up inside her, anger at herself for thinking he would accept this, and anger at him for refusing to.

"I don't need your protection or permission Jace, I'm not a child!, I love you and I'm sorry but I'm accepting this mission weather you want me to or not!" She said sternly, she risked a glance up and immediately felt guilty, the spark in his eyes that she had associated with Jace was gone , replaced by hurt and worry, but she didn't need looking after, she was a shadowhunter and sometimes Jace forgot that, this was just a reminder that she was as strong as he was she told herself as she gently pushed him to the side, got up and fighting back tears and fled until the sound of her name being called was lost on the wind and she disappeared into the mist.

"You know you could just chose one outfit already so we could leave?" Simon pointed out to Izzy, they had only been in the Lorenzo Dress shop for ten minutes and already she had tried on almost everything in it.

"You know, that as long as you keep complaining that's never going to happen" she joked as she appeared from behind the curtain wearing a green cotton dress that hugged her frame tightly, there was amusement in her eyes as she flung her long head of dark hair over her shoulder so that it was no longer obstructing her view of him, making a clear path for the hard glare she threw his way, Simon shuddered as realization dawned on him, he thought out loud "this is payback for the party isn't it?" he sighed, regretting the question after he said it, as she spun around, the full force of her anger weighing down on him, "Might be?"her voice rose to that pitch she used when she was threatening someone and he backed away feeling nervous when she followed, a frightening grin splitting across her face

"seriously Simon, you didn't expect me to forgive you that easily, after you left me ALONE! to explain to Magus and my brother why their apartment looked like a demon had thrown up in it, did you?" she asked in a deadly voice he had no idea she was capable of, he was saved from answering as his phone buzzed repeatedly at his side, he silently thanked the angel but made no move to answer it, he was scared that if he moved Isabelle would lunge on him like he was a hunger demon who had just eaten her whole family.

"you should probably answer that, could be important" she stated nodding her head towards his jacket pocket, he smiled making a mental note to apologize later, before reaching into his pocket for his phone and bringing it to his ear.

"hello?" Isabelle was staring at him, she tapped her foot impatiently three times before poking her tongue out, heading back into the changing room and ripping the curtain shut, no doubt to try on another one of her stunning outfits,

"Oh Simon, I was beginning to think you weren't going to pick up!" it was Jace his voice slightly muffled from the phone but he sounded worried, dread settled itself in his stomach Jace never sounded worried, not unless it was something to do with Clary,

"Jace? whats wrong, is it Clary? is she-"

he was cut off"Shes fine, but she's had another crazy idea of hers and I need you to come talk her out of it."

relief washed over Simon but he couldn't get over the feeling that something was terribly wrong, he froze as Isabelle emerged from the changing room in a pale orange dress, the fabric bringing out the color of her hair and made her black eyes stand out against her pale skin, "Simon?" he remembered Jace was still on the phone and with uncertainty he answered "sure whats does she want to do this time? "

"She wants to go on a mission, alone" Jace said his voice laced with fear and worry, Simon didn't understand why Jace thought this was a crazy idea, Clary went on missions alone all of the time and most of the time Jace didn't care, so what was so bad about this one? "whats so bad about about that?" he echoed his thoughts, dreading the answer, Isabelle was staring at him with interest, obviously wondering what the conversation was about and why Simon was trying do hard to compose himself, Jace's voice sounded over the phone

"its in LA and-" Simon was out the door before he could finish he dropped his phone and quickened his pace, pushing people to the sides as he sprinted up the street, he could hear Izzy calling after him but he felt distant, like everything was very far away, he had only one thought as he ran the entire five blocks to the institute

Clary.


	2. Gone

The distant whisper of voices carried its way upstairs to Clary and Jace's bedroom, she pressed her ear against the door, curious, and strained to make them out, the closer one was Jace's, she was sure of it and the other Clary thought was Simon's, she cursed under her breath, Jace knew that Simon would be able to convince her to stay and she secretly regretted announcing to Jace that her and Simon were to be parabatai so early.

She ran through her options in her head and decided that she would have more of a chance climbing out the window than running through the entrance hall where both Jace and Simon were ready to catch her, she slid Heosphoros into its sheath, the stars on the blade twinkling up at her and wrapped the belt around her waist, it was sad that she was leaving for her mission like this she thought, as Clary bid the Institute farewell and slipped through the window landing steadily on the sloping overhang.

Clary crawled along the tiles of the institutes roof, thinking about the look on Jace's face earlier that day when she had told him of her mission, and held back a cry as she stubbed her toe on a splintering piece of broken wood-- it had fallen when she slammed the window shut-- she risked a glance down and dizziness washed over her as she realized she had not quite thought this through.

Jace and Clary's bedroom was on the third floor of the institute which put it a good 30 feet off the ground, she couldn't help but think what Jace would do if he caught her up here sneaking off on to the mission he had forbidden her to do, she quickly pushed the thought away as she reached the edge of the overhang, supporting herself against the chimney, she drew a quick silencing rune welcoming the sting, took a deep breath and jumped.

The doors to the Institute flew open as Simon crashed through,

Jace didn't exactly like Simon, but he had to give him some credit for getting here in less than ten minutes, and by the way Simon's cheeks were flushed and his breathing was hard it seemed like had ran the whole way.

When Jace had caught up to Clary in central park her cheeks had been wet with tears and he had pulled her into his arms and dropped the subject regarding the Clave's mission. He had stood there, holding her as she cried, and had felt terribly guilty for being the one two had caused her tears, when he finally managed to convince her to go home she had marched through the doors, and stormed up to their room, declaring she was going to go pack, he had protested but she had ignored him and marched up the stairs anyway then slammed the door in his face when he followed, in response he had threatened to call Simon if she wouldn't come out and talk and now Simon was standing in the entrance hall looking flushed and angry.

"Where is she?, you wanted me to talk to her so where is she?" he demanded scanning Jace's expression, and by the look Simon was giving him, he guessed he didn't look as calm as felt.

"Relax Simon, shes in our room, but I'm not going to let you march in there looking like you just committed a crime then fled the scene" he explained placing his hands on Simon's shoulders encouraging him to take deep breaths "Well technically this jacket isn't mine" He joked relaxing a bit

"I just don't understand why she would want to go to LA alone in the first place just for some stupid mission" Jace couldn't stop himself from laughing but regretted it instantly as Simon glared at him

"I mean what did you expect Simon, she looks for danger and when she finds it she jumps in front of it" he stated, to his surprise Simon laughed and looked up at him shrugging Jace's hands off his shoulders

"Wonder who she learned that off" He breathed, before pushing past Jace to the elevator and waiting for him to follow before yanking the grate closed and punching the buttons on the wall,

They walked down the hall and Jace stopped outside His and Clary's bedroom, positioning himself comfortably against the wall "Go on" he prodded Simon

Simon crossed the, pushed the door open and then disappeared as he slipped into the the room the door clicking shut behind him

"Jace, come here" Simon's voice sounded from inside and Jace suddenly had a terrible feeling

"why?"he wondered aloud

"Clarys gone"

It was a slow, silent fall fall Clary thought, even peaceful, she smiled despite herself, the ground came closer and her scream came out as a warm puff of cloud against the frozen air, she screwed her eyes shut bracing for the impact.

The ground came to her and Clary hit it with a sickening crack, pain shot through her body, knocking her breath away, her vision swam with black stars,

"Jace" she whispered her voice raspy, before the darkness reached up pulling her down into it.

The door flew open as Jace flung himself into the room, his golden eyes darting back and forth before widening as he realized Clary wasn't there, Simon mirroring his look crossed the room in to strides and pushed a piece of paper into Jace's hands, he stared at it forcing the letters into words and started reading:

**_I know you specifically told me not to go on this mission, but since when do I ever listen, try not to hate me to much, you know why I did it._**

**_Love Clary_**.

There was a small noise from outside, and Jace dashed to the window Simon close behind him, there was a small crumpled figure lying in the grass, she wore black gear and her orange hair was shining in the streets light,he recognized her instantly, beside him he heard Simon take a sharp in take of breath

"She jumped" he said sounding genuinely surprised, Jace stared at him,

"Of course she jumped, she's Clary"


	3. letgo

Clary blinked in and out of consciousness, as her surroundings came into to focus, she was lying on her back against the cold stony dirt and taking shallow breaths, the air had been ripped out of her, leaving her motionless, surrounded by the sounds of New York traffic, there was something else to, it sounded like footsteps pounding on the concrete floor inside the Institute

Jace's footsteps, she panicked, if he caught her now he would never let her out of his sight, she reached for her stele,

It was gone

She turned her her head to the side and let out a cry of pain the silencing rune burning itself away, seeping into her skin just below her fore arm, there was blood in her throat and she choked on it, making it bubble up and drip down her chin.

In the corner of her eye she caught something glimmer in the light of the street lamp, her stele, she flung her arms out rolling on to her front, ignoring the pain that flared through her neck and back, digging her fingers into the grass and dragging herself forward across the harsh ground, her hands began to ache and she brought her left one up in front of her face so she could inspect it, she had about a dozen shallow cuts spread out across her palm where the gravel in the dirt had cut her and her nails were torn and bleeding

She glanced toward her stele making one last reach for it, her bleeding hand closed around the cool metal of it and bringing it to her neck she began to draw a quick iratze, the pain in her neck subsided and she did the same with her back and hands, standing up she glanced at the road, parked on the curb was the taxi she had called before leaving, the driver looked tired and she wondered how long he had been waiting while she had lay unconscious on the grass in front of the Institute

"Clary!" it was Jace, as she had been thinking he had crept up behind her, she spun on her heel, Simon visibly swallowed taking in the sight of her as he came up behind Jace, she was standing there in her grass stained gear, hands bleeding and she guessed that her neck had started to bruise to, in return she looked at their faces, Simon looked surprised and angry and Jace wore a look of utter betrayal, she felt her heart stop as he came toward her holding out his hand, she backed away towards the taxi where the driver was waiting, watching the scene unfold,

"Clary please, you don't have to do this, you don't have to prove yourself to anyone." and as he said it part of her wanted to run over and throw her arms around him and cry until there was nothing left to cry about, but the other half knew she had everyone to prove herself to, she turned walking towards the taxi, then began run as she heard Jace in pursuit behind her, she ripped open the car door and threw herself into the cab slamming and locking the door behind her, just as Jace crashed into the side pulling on the handle willing it to open

"I'm sorry" she mouthed as the taxi started and drove away down the street, she glanced back and locked her eyes on Jace, shoulders slumped and a look of raw hurt on his face, until he disappeared around the corner and he was gone.

The doorbell rung throughout the Institute, echoing off the smooth concrete walls and down the hall to Clary and Jace's bedroom, in which he and Simon were standing

"She's going to be fine, I mean, she jumped off a three story building, just to get away from you" Jace winced at the last words, he brought his hand up bringing his hair down down in front of his face, hoping to hide the tear tracks, he hadn't said anything since Clary had gotten into the back of that taxi and driven away, leaving him to drown in his own worry, he kept imagining all the different ways she could die and never come back and he was listing them all in his head over and over

Death by drowning, falling, impalement, cut throat, burning, stabbed...

And although Jace was breaking in to pieces, Simon seemed mostly unaffected by Clary leaving, and that got him three steps closer to be thrown out the window the next time he said "She is going to be fine"

The doorbell sounded again, and, using this as an opportunity to escape this conversation Jace jumped to his feet and was out the door before he heard another word.

He opened the Institute doors and was greeted by an angry looking Isabelle, her cheeks were a light shade of red and her dark eyes were glinting dangerously

"you know you have a key,right?" she glared at him, and by the way her hand automatically reached for the electrum whip coiled at her side he decided not to ask and simply added

"Simons upstairs" she pushed past him and dashed up the stairs calling out a quick "thank you!" on the way.


	4. Emma

The sun was simmering above the desert, staring down on Emma as she ran towards the glinting light, located just up from the sea was the LA Institute, from this distance the sun reflecting off it made it look like a tiny white star, it grew bigger as she approached, she pushed on trying desperately to keep up her pace in the blazing heat

"She's not going anywhere, you can stop running you know" Emma spun on her heal, Julian was behind her, doubled over on himself, his breathing hard, she knew that they didn't have to run the two miles back to the Institute, but she was just nervous to see Clary again

Clarissa Fairchild was one of the few people Emma trusted with her life, Clary had been there for her when she had run out of the court room during the dark war and afterward, as she got over the loss of her parents, she stared at Julian, his brown curly hair was drenched in sweat and his blackthorn blue green eyes looked tired, hoping he would understand she said nothing, stretching himself out he moaned,

"Fine, but go slower or you will have to carry me" she laughed turning around and started into a jog, he caught up with her, matching her pace easily and started up a conversation, Emma had always been jealous of Julian in that way, he always knew when to talk and what to talk about, whereas she had no conversational skills whatsoever, her mind drifted off to a memory of her and Jules as kids, they had been around ten at the time and Emma had tried to start up a conversation about how great dogs were with a kid whose dog had just died, the kid had burst into tears, and being Julian he had somehow changed the subject to seraph blades which happened to be the kids favorite, saving her from further humiliation she had thanked him silently, since then Emma had made a vow that Julian would be the talker

"...Don't you think?" He turned to stare at her, a question lingering in his eyes, she nodded automatically, other memories coming to mind

"you didn't hear anything i just said did you?"

"look, were here!" she answered, avoiding the look of worry he shot her way, she dashed up the steps and slammed through the front door crashing right into Clary, she went down pulling Clary into a hug so that they were both rolling around on the floor

"you sure know how to make an entrance, I'll give you that" Clary said standing up, she still hadn't changed, she had fiery red hair and those deep green eyes that were so remarkably hers, Clary reached a freckled hand down, and, using her as support Emma got to her feet, brushing the desert sand off her crumpled training gear, she smiled from ear to ear

"Oh trust me, you haven't seen anything yet"


End file.
